Sunday, June 29, 2008

Keep women away from stairs!

I have summarized for your convenience the top 7 consumer killers in the United States in the year 2001, and swimming pools, for comparison.  I think the conclusion here is inescapable: women must be kept away from stairs. This is a significant issue for me because I live in a house with two stories and a basement, with my wife and three daughters. Although the statistics presented are not specific, it does appear that the problem is largely with older women, so we'll definitely have my mother in law stay in the downstairs bedroom.

As I write this my two older girls are directly behind me, messing around in the crib that we generally use for our youngest. A quick check shows that I should escort them outside where they can safely fool around in traffic on some ATVs!

total deathsmale accidentsfemale accidentscategory
2021047671421274004Stairs, Ramps, Landings, Floors
45964248445 291530Beds, Mattresses, Pillows
30271203930 252960Chairs, Sofas, Sofa beds
25023125312 168238Bathroom structures and fixtures
24750414008 151660Bicycles
21239169834 38022ATVs, Mopeds, Minibikes
19085150667 72498Ladders, Stools
53228886472894Swimming Pools, Equipment


  1. >> so we'll definitely have my
    >> mother in law stay in the
    >> downstairs bedroom.

    Didn't you mean, "... so we'll definitely have my mother-in-law stay in the *upstairs* bedroom." ;)

    Sorry, I simply couldn't resist!

  2. Ah, no. I have of course heard how so many men have difficulties with their mothers in law. That's not my experience.

    I have no intuition for being a good father, so, I learn a lot from my mother-in-law when she's in town. She's fabulous with the kids. Perhaps this is because she was a teacher for a few decades. Or maybe because she raised four great kids. I dunno. But I'm watching.

    Also, my standard of living goes up substantially when she is here. She is much better about making the kids clean up after themselves than my wife and I are, and so the house looks great. The kids love the extra attention they get, so they're happier. And, when Martha and I want to go out for the night, we have a trustworthy babysitter. So I've made it pretty clear that mom-in-law can stay here as much as she likes, and can I get her a cold drink? I am seriously thinking about getting a new TV almost exclusively for her benefit, which is a big deal given that we don't watch TV.

    So, no, she'll stay in the downstairs bedroom, and I think I'll make an attempt to remove any reasons for her to go up the stairs.